1. Read pages 178-179 in your "7 Habits".
If we want others to understand us better, it is important that we keep the lines of communication OPEN. There are common mistakes that people can make when they are trying to communicate during times of stress and/or emotion. These mistakes can cause the lines of communication to CLOSE between people and create negative feelings that weaken relationships.
2. Read through each of the "Communication Blockers" found at the link below.
Communication Blockers
Can you relate? Are you guilty of using any of these "blockers" in your interactions with others? Do you recall a time when someone used one of these against you? I'm sure you remember how it made you feel. Often, your immediate reaction is to defend yourself by getting angry or withdrawing to avoid further discomfort. If this happens what can you do to repair the relationship? ... especially if the relationship is really important to you? Read on.
3. Someone may have said or done something that offended you. You want to keep the lines of communication open. What can you do to stick up for yourself or share your concerns but be respectful of the other person at the same time? Your best shot may be to use something called an"I" Statement.
An "I" Statement does three things:
1. It allows you to take responsibility for your feelings WITHOUT blaming the other person. (Remember Habit #1 - Be proactive, rather than reactive?)
2. It focusses on the problem WITHOUT attacking the person. (Hopefully by doing this the other person won't react defensively and the lines of communication will remain OPEN).
3. It provides the person you are speaking to with a lot of helpful information. (A better understanding of how you feel and why.)
For practice, complete the "I" Statement worksheet at the following link.
"I" message worksheet
8. ASSIGNMENT - Watch the following clip from the movie, "The Break Up". In this clip we see a conversation between two people escalate into a fight. Let's use this example to reflect on what we've learned about communication. Please complete the assignment by answering the 2 questions below.
1. Using the information you have learned in this lesson (and the previous one... "Listening"), explain, in some detail, three communication "mistakes" (for example: poor listening skills, communication blockers, etc.) that inflamed and/or escalated this situation. Describe a) the mistake, b) who made it and c) what it resulted in.
2. Once Gary and Brook have had a chance to cool down - what is an "I message" that each of them could say to the other that would explain a) how he/she feels, b) what the other person did and c) why that was hurtful. (Take some time to think about this - what was each of them really upset about? - dig passed the surface and try to see the real issues and emotions by using what you have learned about "genuine" listening). Write one message that Gary could say to Brook and another that Brook could say to Gary. (And, I get that "I messages" sound weird, fake...corny... but if practiced, they will sound genuine and can actually be very effective).
I'll also post the "I message" worksheet in Assignments on Teams (although you don't need to submit it to me - it's not part of the assignment - but if you would like some feedback - I can help.) I'll also post the 2 assignment questions, that way you can answer them in Word and hand them in on Teams.
